Rum, Hancuffs, and Ass Kicking
by miley-avril
Summary: In which Emma has to arrest Hook and he is drunk and acts like a human being. Unestablished Captain Swan. Rated T for language.


**I WAS WORKING ON CHAPTER 50 OF **_**ONCE UPON A TIME IN A LAND FAR FAR AWAY**_** WHEN THIS IDEA CAME TO MIND. OKAY… HERE GOES NOTHING!**

**DON'T OWN ONCE UPON A TIME.**

Hook is happily nursing some rum when a familiar head of blonde hair slides onto the stool next to him. He groans inwardly.

"You look too depressed for someone who just got revenge after 300 years." Emma quips.

"And you look too happy for a sheriff that's talking to a man who just shot somebody." He shoots right back in an annoyed tone.

"My son's other mom just got cleared. He's happy, so I am, too, I guess. And then there's the fact that the infamous big, bad, scary Captain Hook keeps getting his ass kicked. I find that kinda amusing." Emma says as Ruby bounces over.

"Hey, Emma! What can I get for you?"

"Nothing, thanks. I'm on the job." The blonde smiles. Ruby walks away to tend to Sydney and Dr. Whale, who've apparently become friends while she and Snow were stuck in the Enchanted Forest.

"So you're interrogating me." Hook says.

"No. But I'll be arresting you in a minute."

"Why are you giving me a heads up?"

"Because I was right to leave you on that beanstalk." Emma turns to face him, her voice low and dangerous, and locks her eyes on his. "I didn't think you were _that_ bad. I honestly didn't. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had a bad boy reputation and you wanted to maintain it." She leans in closer. "You would have left me for dead if it meant it was the only way for you to get to Storybrooke. You are a ruthless jackass. Congratulations, you got me to see it."

"Emma…" He doesn't know _why_ it matters to him how she sees him. All he knows is that it does.

"Get up." She commands harshly, ignoring the use of her first name.

"What?" If Hook's completely honest with himself, he can hardly believe she's doing this. He's already learned the hard way that trying to charm himself out of sticky situations as of late doesn't work. So, he settles for honesty and, dare he admit it, _humanity_.

"Get up. You're under arrest for kidnapping Archie Hopper, and the attempted murders of Mr. Gold and Belle French." This time, Emma sounds regretful. Now Hook realizes that she doesn't want to have to arrest him any more than he wants to be arrested. Surprisingly enough (as if there haven't been enough surprises lately), he doesn't want to pounce on her vulnerability. This woman's going to be the death of him, he thinks.

"Okay." He'll talk her out of this at the station.

"What?" He smirks at her bewilderment.

"I'm cooperating, Love. Isn't that what you wanted?" At this, Emma rolls her eyes.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you. And I'm not saying the rest cause they quite clearly don't apply to all you damn fairytale people." She cuffs him, and they both ignore the stares of the few other patrons in the diner. She walks him to the cruiser and shoves him into the backseat none too gently.

"Hey! I thought you felt sorry for me?" He asks. She sighs in frustration as she climbs into the driver's seat.

"I didn't think you did pity." The blonde jams the keys into the ignition and lights the engine.

"Aren't you going to arrest the Crocodile, too? He attacked me with that bloody cane of his." Hook says and grunts as Emma takes a hard corner. "You did that just to make me hit the window!"

"Then maybe you should shut up."

"Now you hate me again? Love, we do need to work on our love/hate relationship, here."

"There _is no _relationship, Hook. And stop calling me 'Love'. It's creepy."

"Fine. Then I just won't talk." Hook goes to cross his arms and bites his tongue to keep from letting out a string of curses when the cuffs keep his arms in place. The next minute of the car ride is awkward until they pull into the station.

"Well, you're gonna need to. I have to ask you a few questions." She says quietly.

"Now you're not mad?" Hook can definitely say _he_ is. He's done nothing but try to be nice tonight, and she's screwing with him. Emma walks him into a cell and locks it. "You're not taking my hook?"

"You're not gonna do anything." She shrugs. "You got the revenge you wanted."

"I take back what I said on the beanstalk; I don't understand anything about you." He says, leaning against the bars.

"Oh?" Emma raises an eyebrow and sits on her desk.

"One minute you're being open and nice. The next you're furious and abusing me–"

"I was not abusing you!"

"Well, then, you have sucky driving skills." Hook says. "And _now_ you're being nice again."

"I'm always nice." Emma declares, referring to their time on the beanstalk.

"No, you're not." He points out. "Sometimes you're a bitch."

"I think you're confusing me with Regina." The blonde says. "I don't see how you can, though. The only thing remotely similar about us is that we share Henry."

"Point taken. Hey, how about this? You let me out, and I won't go after Rumplestiltskin again."

"No. I have a different proposition. You help me and my friends take down Cora, and I won't lock you back up."

"Why would I do that?"

"To avoid punishment."

"I think I have a better idea of punishment." Hook waggles his eyebrows at her and smiles charmingly after looking her up and down.

"Hell no. Deal or not?" She hops off the desk and walks over to his cell. He holds his good hand out.

"Deal." They shake.

"Good. But I don't think a night here will hurt anything."

"And Emma?" He calls as she's halfway to the door.

"Yeah?"

"I don't always get my ass kicked. I swear, I will do everything in my power to help you. I mean it. That lad of yours… I always wanted one. I understand why you left me on the beanstalk. No hard feelings on my part." He says sincerely. Emma's face softens.

"I believe you." She smiles a little before smirking. "About wanting to help. Not always getting your ass kicked? Eh, not so much. I count three times from me, two from Belle, I think two more from Gold, one from Cora… and then a car mowed you over."

"I've been having an off couple days…" Hook responds. "And the fight at the portal, I let you win that."

"No you didn't." Emma narrows her eyes and crosses her arms. Hook's lips twitch up mischievously, having gotten the reaction he wanted.

"Love, I had a backup plan. I _wanted_ you to get to Storybrooke. Back to your son. Besides, I couldn't kill a pretty thing like you." He says, once again sticking his hands through the bars and leaning casually against them.

"You were surprised! You had no idea you lost the compass until I knocked you out with it." The blonde cries indignantly.

"I have to say, I was surprised that you hit me. I thought you'd just let me go." He says. Emma walks closer once again and leans in close.

"You're not going anywhere." She whispers before sauntering out of the station.


End file.
